The Great Invention

Dear Children,

You know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you are the little apples of my eye, my sweet punkins, and the cause of my laughter…most days.  In other words, you also know that this momma loves you more than words could ever say.

I gladly prepare and set food in front of  you each and every day…forty-three times a day.  Yes, you eat a lot.  But I don’t mind.  You are growing kiddos.

Daily I scale absurd mountains of dirty laundry to provide you with clean clothes to wear.  Do I care?  Nope.  As long as the clothes are truly dirty and not just a sneaky effort on your part to “clean your room”, I’ll happily wash your garments until I’m blue in the face.

When you are sick and need your mother, I am right there to sooth your fevered brow and kiss away the tummy ache.  And because I’m busy being Nurse Mommy, your father is johnny-on-the-spot to clean and disinfect the toilet and launder all the bedding.  (Allow me to enjoy this daytime reverie a moment.)

Bring me a boo-boo and a tear-stained face and yes, my heart is in a puddle.  I cannot abide to see my children in pain.  I wish that I could offer you a world and a lifetime free from cares and sorrow, but I cannot.  Instead, I will lavish you with hugs and kisses and all the love that this ol’ heart can give.

I happily teach and train you every day in academics, life itself, and most of all, about our faith in God.  It brings me great joy to see you each master and conquer things in your life:  place values, vocabulary, cursive writing, memory verses, and the Civil war as well as making your bed, tying your shoes, playing the piano, and fixing sandwiches.  I love it all.  Truly I do.

But I must have forgotten to teach you about one thing.  Just one little, yet life-changing, thing.  It’s really wonderful.  A great invention, in fact.

However, this great invention also involves one thing that I cannot and will not do for you.  All of mankind has had to walk this same path as you to conquer this feat.  On their own.

Allow me to introduce you to this great invention:



the trashcan.  Remember how we even bought that new one for the kitchen?  It’s really nice.

You may not know this, but we have one in just about every room.  For your convenience even.  It’s a rather simple process, I promise.

Place all rubbish inside.

Easy, huh?  Genius, actually.

Anyhoo,  I’m so glad that we had this talk.  I feel better already.  Your childhood is more well-rounded now that you’ve attained this deep knowledge and officially been introduced.  As I’ve already stated, I would gladly go to the moon and back.  just. for. you., but I will not throw your trash away.

It’s a task that every individual must learn.

I love you bunches,


(a.k.a.  The Cleaning Lady)

‘Fess up.  Do your kids throw their trash away?  Are they stuffers or just plain litter bugs?  Still finding candy wrappers everywhere but in the trash?  If so, I feel your pain.  If not, well, then just don’t tell me …and let’s trade kids for a day. 😉


Thanks for reading my rambles today.


4 thoughts on “The Great Invention

  1. Laine

    Hahaha, this made me crack up. And laundry that isn’t completely dirty and just kind of thrown in during clean up time? I have NO idea what you’re talking about! lol! And yes, we totally have “trash” issues around here! Right now we’re working on the concept of sharpening your pencil OVER the trashcan. That is mind-blowing apparently. 😉

    1. heather Post author

      I was halfway laughing as I was typing it. The hours that I had just poured into their room was simply too fresh in my mind for a full chuckle I guess. lol! Thankfully we don’t have that issue with pencil sharpening- Hubs bought an electric one (has an attached container) for our school. Trust me, we have MANY other tasks to learn though. 🙂

  2. Lisa S.

    What a lovely post! lol 🙂 I’d let you borrow Ben, but I’m not sure how long I could do without him. He literally gets teared up with frustration when he goes to bed with a semi-messy room. He complains about David’s things being out, but….well, he has yet to learn that as long as he continues picking up his brother’s things, David won’t feel motivated to do it himself. I do check their room- and it’s usually clean at night when I come in to tuck them in- but all thanks go to Ben. (It wasn’t always like that, but hey, I’ll enjoy it as long as it lasts!)

    1. heather Post author

      Thanks. I do understand. But if not a whole day, how about just an hour with Ben? Come on. I’m a desperate mother here. lol!

      Still not willing, huh? Well, I guess that if I had a good thing going, I’d probably keep it to myself too. Oh, well. Enjoy him. 🙂


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